J’s Short Movie Reviews: Jennifer’s Body

Jennifer’s Body is so stupid it’s offensive. Written by the same person who brought us the witty and smart Juno and starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried (guess which one can actually act), you would think at least the dialogue would work in this thing. No. It doesn’t. Not at all.

What we have here is a twist on the “virgin sacrifice” trope in the horror genre. A rock band in a nowhere town picks up a would-be groupie at a local dive (Jennifer played by Megan Fox) and they mistake her for a virgin (she tells them that lie but she reveals to the audience early on this isn’t true – as if it wasn’t obvious enough), sacrifice her which basically allows a demon to take control of her body. In order to maintain a healthy form, the demon from time to time has to feed on people. Specifically, it feeds on males that Jennifer lures into sexual frenzy.  Needy (Amanda Seyfried) plays the best friend who knows something is up, is actually let in on the secret, and ultimately destroys the Jennifer-demon but in the process she is bitten and now is a hybrid human with some of the supernatural powers. She ultimately escapes her mental institution prison and hunts down and kills the band who started it all.

I’ve just summed up in 154 words what this movie stumbles to show in 102 minutes. In between all of these revelations we get heavy doses of badly paced dialogue scenes mixed with flimsily executed action/horror scenes and/or love scenes. It throws all that in the blender with too-smart-for-their-own-good teenagers and the kind of asides “funny” moments the writers of Family Guy usually devise and you have this flaming pile of celluloid.

The problem here is the characters. They don’t know what generation they are supposed to be from in the horror world. They talk like the Millennial generation who know switch from fad to fad in rapid fire fashion and have to have the gore ramped up to disturbing levels in order to get a reaction. However, they are written like the Generation Xers that populated the Scream horror world. They know all the horror rules and ironically, still fall prey to them. And finally they act like the idiots of 70s and 80s teen horror films who walk blindly into the dark forest where they just saw the killer go carrying a body. They do stupid things and therefore, the deaths are more predictable than the endings of the latest WWE pay-per-view.

And that’s the real offensive part of Jennifer’s Body. It makes me retrospectively hate the previous iterations of horror films because it exposes the weakness in the set up. In the 70s and 80s, we knew the characters were there for the body count. They were just cardboard stand-ins for Jason or Freddy to cut through.  It also reinforces what Scream‘s central theme was: once you know the rules of horror movies, there’s nothing left to say. And that movement, while providing a short shot in the arm, killed the genre and pushed us into Hostel land where now we have to be so over the top with the gore it distracts from any movement of the plot.

This movie fails to deliver on any of those levels and it’s a shame because the idea isn’t a bad one. It’s actually grounds for some fun. However, it’s so badly delivered here that is is not worth even being so bad it’s good. No, it’s so bad it’s bad.

Rating: Small Popcorn – Totally uneven and a complete waste of your time.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by WordPress | Designed by: Video Games | Thanks to stadtrundgang berlin, seo services and seo